Dear mother

Dear mother,

Right now there is a darkness in your heart. I don’t understand if your grieving or you’re in pain. I hope one day that you will make friends with your grief and let it go. Right now I see a shell of a woman that is empty and needs love fill to create a new body of light.

 

Everyone thinks that I’m angry with you but that’s far from the truth. I’m not angry but I will be honest here I’m very disappointed. Instead of being a good person you chose to allow hate and vindictiveness to corrupt your soul. You lack the ability to see the good in humanity and you thrive on others pain. Your line of victims grows and you steal everything good from them. I am so disappointed that you cannot live without being an emotional vampire.

 

I don’t want to be like you opposite in fact. I cannot fathom the contempt you feel for your children. I look at my sons and I could never do what you did to me. Children are innocent and pure and need guidance to grow. Your soul garden is filled with weeds that drain the life out of everything you touch. I want you to know I’m not saying this to hurt you but I need you to hear my words and hopefully grow your heart to love again.

 

I have a question to ask it’s ok I know you will never truthfully answer me so here it is what is hurting you so much that you must hurt others? What can others do to help you? I don’t mean the help that your taking by hurting others to feel good. I want to know for the help you need to find your way back to your humanity. I get it right now you will say your help means nothing I am power. I really don’t believe that you mean it, surely you must see that others want you to heal and become good again.

 

I don’t know your story I have tried to find answers. A small part of me wants to find a way to help you. I know that I told you that I never wanted you in my life. In a bigger picture, you gave me life I’m forever grateful you did. If your suffering from trauma or mental illness getting you the help will make your life better. I am going to say this if you get help your life will turn around positively. To get the help you must first want to help yourself I and others cannot change that. You need to hit rock bottom in order to see the way to set yourself free.

 

”There is no love without your truth.”

 

Your reality and versions of the truth are twisted to fit your victim mentality. This is a shocking statement but one I need to make to you for my own honesty. I see what you do to people and animals they are possessions until no longer needed. It bears the burden to the heart that you cannot see beyond the abuse you are causing. If you could see with new eyes the pain and destruction you have caused by living in a false reality I believe it would bring you down like the Berlin Wall.

 

I don’t want to be thought of gaslighting you. I think you see me trying to speak to you as a threat. This is not my intention, I merely wish that you will see my words and connect long forgotten thoughts of your own. When I began writing this I had more words to say. I want to leave this here just like this. I think of you and yes a small hidden part of my heart will always love you. Until you see love for what it is and not what you can use it for, your truth will not set you free.

 

With love,

 

Your youngest daughter

oleander

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Dear mother

    • It’s not a good relationship. I wish in another world it would of been different.
      It took me along time to get to a place of forgiveness in myself and her to move forward and accept it for what it is.
      Thank you for reading and commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s