I have a pressing issue with men and woman posting on social media about what they will do to the future child that will date their child. This issue is hearing other parents think it’s ok to threaten other children with violence if they so look at their child. I try to understand how this is ok? As parents, we are responsible for teaching the younger generation that abuse is not ok.
I am a mom of two boys one is eight years old he is autistic. I could not imagine if he started dating and upon meeting the parents gets threatened. He already lives in fear of social normalcies and has a hard time understanding them. If someone threatens him without good reason they are showing him it’s ok to be a bully. Why instill fear upon a child learning what is ok in the world? Where is the village everyone so highly speaks of when raising children?
I have a job in motherhood and that is to teach my children to love and hold respect for others. I am teaching them to be good human beings with morals and good faith to do well in life. I will teach them that their bodies belong to them and that they are responsible to take care of the body they hold. As a mother, I already know that they will one-day encounter relationships. My job from that is to show them love should never hurt and that they are allowed to say no. This includes teaching my sons that they as well do not own another person and have to uphold the opinions and rights of others. I live by the rule to show them an open culture of trust and accountability. If they do not follow through with these rules I have failed my job as a mother.
As a parent, I will not threaten your daughters upon meeting them. I would hope that other parents will hold the same respect for my sons. I don’t own my son’s body nor do you own your daughter’s body. What I do on my end is having open communication and trust. If something presents as wrong give me the formality I would give back and talk to me. Then comes talking to our children united to teach them respect and understand the world better. If my child is being abused by your child whether it’s female or male I will step in and take steps to ensure their safety. If my sons are the abusive ones I will fully protect your children as well. As parents this role is intimidating and I understand the passion behind the veiled threat. I also have a clear understanding that as a parent it would be the same for your child as what I feel for my children. I am a mother who would do anything to protect my children from harm. I have learned in motherhood I need to step back and let their lives run its due course.
I will not place guilt on the guiltless unless proven otherwise. Children deserve a better future with less unprecedented violence as they are our pathway to change. We are at the melting pot of generations; breaking the wrongs before them, if we keep this cycle going of ownership of our children, it will continue with the idea of ownership of someone else’s body. This has been proven ineffective and only generates the idea of toxic relationships. We as parents can create a better future for the generation below us. Give future children a chance to grow by growing yourself first.
Written by Ali Johnson